Why I’m Not an Evangelical: Part I

12 min readNov 26, 2019

I grew up in vaguely evangelical churches, so I had the impression that evangelicalism was the historical and biblical norm. Over time, however, I came to dislike many of the practices of evangelicalism, so I no longer consider myself a part of the broader movement.

Evangelicalism: Definition and Roots

All too often, the term “evangelical” is used by opponents of evangelicalism to criticize Christian movements that are somewhat conservative and Protestant. In order to avoid such confusion, I will hereby use evangelicalism to reference churches with the following ideas, practices, or behaviors:

Low church aesthetics
A Memorialist view on the Eucharist
An emphasis on baptism as a sign of submission to God
The claim to adherence to the 5 Solas
The use of modern Christian music, particularly music produced since the mid-20th Century
Acceptance of either Calvinist or Arminian views

This certainly is not an exhaustive list of Evangelical practices and beliefs. The following list includes behaviors and theological ideas of many— but not necessarily all — evangelical churches:

Premillennial Dispensationalism
Continuationism — particularly of tongues
Decision theology
That Christianity is “a relationship, not a religion”
The belief that Israel is key to Biblical prophecies that have not yet been fulfilled

Therefore, while I will definitely criticize the latter list, I do not believe that those beliefs appear in every evangelical church. I have been to plenty of evangelical churches that support Amillennialism or Cessationism, but I must admit that those churches are less common in the evangelical movement, at least from my experience.

Why I left

My Christian backstory

As alluded to in the introduction, I grew up surrounded by evangelical theology. My family generally attended churches that were slightly Pentecostal, but we would call ourselves evangelicals. In the youth ministry, I often heard that Christianity is “a relationship, not a religion,” which distinguished Christianity from other faiths. I took communion every once in a while, thinking it was just a reflection on what Christ did for us. The servers would bring the bread and wine — which was usually just some sort of cracker and grape juice — or we would go pick it up ourselves. The height of emotion in every church service was meant to be the worship portion, where a group of musicians playing guitars, keyboards, and drums would all sing about our love for God and vice versa. And emotion was key to the faith; how did you know of your Christianity unless you felt it?

I distinctly recall friends and family asking “when would the rapture come?” I watched the standard dispensationalists on TV like Hal Lindsey, Perry Stone, John Hagee, etc. Occasionally I would attend summer camps or talks that ended with a moment of speaking in tongues. Everybody around me was making sounds that I couldn’t understand, but I just couldn’t do it. How did this “heavenly language” just come so naturally to the preacher and to the people around me, but I couldn’t participate?

This wasn’t breaking point for me, but it certainly started me down the path of questioning the faith. Since I couldn’t speak in tongues, how could I know that I was saved? Worse yet, I never responded emotionally to the worship music like the others near me. Why couldn’t I be normal?

As I developed my musical skills — specifically on trumpet — I started to believe that Christian music wasn’t only outside my taste, but that it was silly. However, I knew not to share that idea beyond my family, since that was practically heresy to some of the other churchgoers.

So, at this point, evangelical aesthetics broke down for me, but I still believed most of the theology.

Then, I stumbled across a video of Ross Douthat on Bill Maher’s show where Douthat defended Christianity. Most of what I heard him say was pretty solid, but I was taken aback when he stated that he denied the rapture.

“What? How could anybody call themselves a Christian and deny the rapture” I thought to myself. While my initial reaction was absolute abhorrence, something about Douthat’s statement stuck to me. I needed to defend my eschatology. It had to be true.

Spoiler alert: I found out I was wrong.

I plan to delve into this issue later on in the post, but for now, just accept that was pulled away from premillennial dispensationalism. With this in mind, what about the other beliefs I held? If the people who told me all this nonsense also fed me the rest of Christianity, what would I do?

Over the next few years, I investigated the issues myself and drifted away from that background. Since then, my beliefs on the Eucharist, baptism, eschatology, soteriology, spiritual gifts, etc. have all changed dramatically.

Now, let’s closely examine my problems with the worship and deceptive marketing techniques in evangelical churches.

Worship

Modern Christian music is vapid, dull, theologically bankrupt, and ultimately counterproductive for Christianity. I might sound pretty harsh towards contemporary Christian music (CCM), and that’s because I am. I’m a multi-instrumental musician with experience in chamber orchestras, concert bands, jazz bands, marching bands, and traditional British brass bands. After playing Dvorak, Tchaikovsky, Glenn Miller, Harry James, etc. I just can’t stand listening to the garbage that emanates from the church stage. Every song sounds the same by using a small series of chord structures, time signatures, and emotional styles. Most modern worship songs stay in 4/4 time and have a chord progression like I, V, m6, IV, with a few tweaks. In my experience, there are three kinds of modern Christian songs:

Slow and sad
Slow and happy
Fast and happy

I haven’t really found any fast and sad songs, unfortunately. I have a feeling they’d give me a good laugh. My point is, however, that contemporary Christian music — while all following similar chord progressions— likes to stay very consistent with their tempos. There seems to be nothing in between moderately slow and moderately fast songs. It gets old REALLY fast.

Contemporary Christian music tries to copy secular trends and fails spectacularly. Very little distinguishes contemporary Christian worship bands from that Fall Out Boy cover band that died after putting on a single concert at your town’s annual rummage sale. The difference, of course, is that your typical contemporary Christian band or “worship team” spreads a vaguely Christian message and doesn’t have to compete with any other bands nearby. Going to a “worship night” is like sneaking into a knockoff rock concert after hours of planning only to find out you could walk in for free: you waste time and ultimately leave disappointed. Those who actually enjoy their time in evangelical worship services rarely leave with any lasting impact. At best, CCM is just a sugar high.

Christianity at large is supposed to be distinct from the rest of the world, showing that God transcends trends at large. However, by copying modern music, evangelical Christianity has become a simple offshoot of Western culture that also believes in some vaguely-defined higher power that acts like Santa Claus. Copying secular trends may lead to temporary popularity, but will it last?

Have you ever sat down and thought about the quality of CCM lyrics? Hillsong’s “I Am Who You Say I Am” has the following lyrics:

Who am I that the highest King
Would welcome me
I was lost but He brought me in
Oh His love for me
Oh His love for me
Who the Son sets free
Oh is free indeed
I’m a child of God
Yes I am
Free at last
He has ransomed me
His grace runs deep
While I was a slave to sin
Jesus died for me
Yes He died for me
Who the Son sets free
Oh is free indeed
I’m a child of God
Yes I am
In my Father’s house
There’s a place for me
I’m a child of God
Yes I am
I am chosen
Not forsaken
I am who You say I am
You are for me
Not against me
I am who You say I am

Let me summarize the message for you: God chose you, Jesus saved you, and because of that, you’re free. That’s it. The lyrics are kind of shallow, aren’t they? There’s no image-building. What was it like being “lost?” What’s the “Father’s house” like? What does it mean to be “a slave to sin?” Most importantly, what does it mean to be a “child of God?” The song gives no detail or depth to these discussions. I’m not asking for a full sermon on the life of a sinner, but I’d at least like this song to build its environment. This song fails to describe the hopeless life of a sinner, the glory of Heaven, or how Christ suffered, yet those are the only themes of the song!

Now, let’s look at John Gary’s rendition of the secular “Danny Boy,” which has a more somber theme:

Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side.
The summer’s gone and all the roses falling;
It’s you, it’s you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer’s in the meadow,
Or when the valley’s hushed and white with snow.
And I’ll be here in sunshine or in shadow;
Oh Danny Boy, oh Danny Boy, I love you so!
But when ye come, and all the flow’rs are dying,
If I am dead, as dead I well may be.
Ye’ll come and find the place where I am lying,
And kneel and say an Ave there for me.
And I shall hear, though soft you tread above me;
And all my grave will warmer, sweeter be,
For you will bend and tell me that you love me;
And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me!

Let’s examine the message of these lyrics. If you haven’t heard and researched the Irish classical “Danny Boy,” please note that there are two popular interpretations of this song, but I’ll take the father-and-son view. The first stanza sets up the narrative and environment, creating a strong sentimental image in the mind of the listener. In this instance, “the pipes” are likely a reference to bagpipes calling young Irish soldiers to arms. The song also states “you must go and I must bide,” showing a painful separation between the singer and Danny. We see the development of seasons as well, forming a distinct sense of nostalgia. More importantly, however, we get a strong feeling that the singer truly cares for his son, saying that he’ll wait for him in all circumstances.

The second and third stanzas show that even in death, this connection stands. The father knows that Danny will visit his grave after the war, assuming Danny survives. The singer, dead at this point, will still feel the love of his son and cherish it. From there, the singer can only wait to be reunited with his son in the afterlife.

Of course, “Danny Boy” is a classic that has a superior lyrical quality to most songs from the 20th Century. Am I being unfair? No. You’d think that a song discussing the greatest story ever told would have an ounce of effort involved. But wait, some do! Finally, let’s look at “Awake, My Heart, with Gladness” by Paul Gerhardt:

Awake, my heart, with gladness,
See what today is done;
Now, after gloom and sadness,
Comes forth the glorious sun.
My savior there was laid
Where our bed must be made
When to the realms of light
Our spirit wings it flight.
The foe triumph shouted
When Christ lay in the tomb;
But lo, he now is routed,
His boast is turned to gloom.
For Christ again is free;
In glorious victory
He who is strong to save
Has triumphed over the grave.
This is a sight that gladdens
What peace it does impart!
Now nothing ever saddens
The joy within my heart.
No gloom shall ever shake,
No foe shall ever take
The hope which God’s own Son
In love for me has won.
Now hell, its prince, the devil,
Of all their power are shorn;
Now I am safe from evil,
And sin I laugh to scorn.
Grim death with all its might
Cannot my soul affright;
It is a powerless form,
However it rave and storm.
Now I will cling forever
To Christ, my Savior true;
My Lord will leave me never,
Whatever he passes through.
He rends death’s iron chain;
He breaks through sin and pain;
He shatters hell’s grim thrall’
I follow him through all.
He brigs me to the portal
That leads to bliss untold,
Whereon this rhyme immortal
Is found is script of gold:
“Who there my cross has shard
Finds here a crown prepared;
Who there with me has died
Shall here be glorified.”

I don’t think I even have to analyze these lyrics. The message is direct, simple, and gives a detailed account of the Gospel and its application in our lives. What more do I have to say?

Contemporary Christian music often has some terrible theology as well. I have caught Christological heresies — specifically Kenoticism — in a few different songs, though I must admit that it’s rare. Two of the largest CCM bands, Bethel and Hillsong, both come from churches that preach the prosperity gospel as well, which is absolutely horrendous. In my view, supporting their music supports their ministry, and if their ministry is heretical, I won’t support their music.

My friends and I like to joke that CCM stresses that “Jesus is my boyfriend,” and, sadly, it shows. There’s an online quiz that makes you determine whether a series of lyrics were from a modern worship song or from “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Similarly, there’s a website called the “worship song generator 2.0” that does just that. Here’s a sample phrase generated by the website:

The Universe will proclaim your name with their love!
For that The Elect grasp the life
The Earth will listen to the tree
For that the tree is to the earth
So is a tree to your people
celebrate your name

While the grammar is horrendous, it pretty much has the same theological substance as other modern Christian songs, though the mention of the Elect is unique.

Deceptive Marketing

Whether evangelicals want to admit it or not, they know that their churches won’t naturally bring people in. Evangelical churches are often built like office buildings with a stage and no cubicles, so outreach teams have resorted to using deception to entice new visitors. I’ve often been invited to social events that were marketed as normal get-togethers only to find out that I was going to receive a short testimony or sermon in the middle all supported by your local non-denominational church. Churches can’t get away with this too easily on their own, but youth ministries definitely can by throwing parties and events open to the public without advertising their ultimate goal of spreading Christ.

This shallow focus on getting new members has also seeped into sermons as well. Oftentimes the sermons vaguely talk about asking God for what you want, knowing God loves you, and that you’ll be okay in the end if you trust God. While those messages have their place, that’s only half the story. We need the Law. The emphasis on God’s forgiveness and love has left people forgetting about God’s justice and righteousness. Why do we need the Gospel? Is it so we can have a nice life over the next few years? Sure, but more importantly, it’s because we all infinitely offend God when we sin, which we do every day. This has all cultivated in decision theology, which I’ll address in the next part, but needless to say, it’s really bad theology.

Overall, the modern evangelical service has turned into a rock concert, motivating speech, and snack — the Eucharist, which I plan to touch on soon — all before forgetting what happened by the next day.

Finally, the whole “non-denominational” movement is based on a lie. All churches need to have statements of faith that will lean that church in the direction of a specific group. These churches tend to be Baptists, Pentecostals, or the Nazarenes in their structure and beliefs but they try to trick you into thinking they’re some independent group that just teaches the Scriptures. Of course, some of these churches will admit that they have a leaning towards a denomination but simply don’t want to be a part of some overhead system, but calling that “non-denominational” is just lying. You’re not fooling anyone with a basic knowledge of the different branches of Christianity, so just be honest.

What’s Next?

This post turned out a lot longer than I expected, so I’m going to put out different parts over time. In my next post, I’m going to begin my discussion of evangelical theology, particularly their use of Sola Scriptura and its consequences.